at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she pinky promised me she was 18
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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