just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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