I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
