And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
