I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
