Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also, beer. Big fan.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
