Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
