what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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