Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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