I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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