areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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