sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
