this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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