I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
