your room smells of hookers.
And success
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
