Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
