That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just had sex bonerless
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
