Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
