its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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