yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
