the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
