TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize