i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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