standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
