I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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