Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize