i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
