sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
