id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
