Pants 0. Shit 1.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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