Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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