whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
