did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
