I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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