I am in a vortex of obligation.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
