is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
