Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
