dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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