O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You were trust falling into bushes
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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