Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
