And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
