Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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