i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
