I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
