You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
