sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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