Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just cropdusted the office
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
