She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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