I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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