you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
