Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
