My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
