wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
