Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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