Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
