I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
