I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
