is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
