he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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