Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Found the puke drawer
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize