it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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