he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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