This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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