let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We need to rekindle our bromance
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
